Summer, life changes, losses & gains

Golly.

Here goes.

1. New job. It tanked early on (beginning of July). The view from the inside was oh-so different from that from the outside. My only concern had been possible chemistry/lack of same with new boss. Based on one omission (fixed within hours, internally) he decided that I was not for his long term, so I left on the 8th July, paid through the end of August. Uncovering (through an Internet article in a Dutch paper last year) that he'd been recalled to Holland from *his* last job (couldn't get along with his #2) eased the pain and confirmed to me that I hadn't lost my mind. While supposedly hired for my legal background, the job's content was mostly that of a protocol assistant. Fetching demitasse all day with a doily wasn't what I'd had in mind! However, I learned a lot about the diplomatic world, including that "tenue de ville" on an invitation means business dress. Aside from the real nightmare of finding a new job in the summer (people are away all of August and some of July), I was prepared to enjoy myself.

2. Summer. What bliss. Sublime weather -- like a slightly warmer San Francisco: clear, bright sun, breezy, in 70's. I've had beach (North Sea) picnics with Dona, my forner neighbor. I've had roof picnics (my roof terrace). I had a long weekend on Vlieland, one of "Wadden" islands just off the northern coast of Holland. I just had a marvelous long weekend at the northernmost point in the U.K, in Thurso, Ham, Mey and Wick, all small towns in the county of Caithness in Scotland, visiting my Welsh conductor friend and his Colombian partner, who are busy with a year-old national Scottish arts programme, in tandem with the Prince of Wales's (in Scotland he's the Duke of Rothesay) "North Highlands Iniatives". I actually met the prince/duke, at a reception he opened in the renovated Mey Hall (across the road from the Castle of Mey, his grandmother's lovely restored castle, on the coast). He looks just like his pictures! Compact, not tall (about 5'9"), with small feet and very nice (hand-made, doubtless) shoes (brown brogues). Twinkly light blue eyes and a very nice voice. I decided to curtsy (not required, being a Yank), since how often does one get the chance? The first greeting is "Your royal highness", and thereafter, "Sir". I spoke to him for about 30 seconds, as did everyone else in the room.

Something in my being loves desolate (in a good way) places, and Caithness did not disappoint. Since I couldn't coordinate a flight from Edinburgh to Wick, I opted to take the train, to see the countryside. This took almost nine hours up and over eight hours back. One sees that other than Edinburgh and Glasgow and a few other small cities, Scotland is mostly empty of people! Hundreds and hundreds of miles of sweeping countryside, even in August covered in heather, which now must be turning all shades of purple. I was disappointed not to see more mountains, but these seem confined to the west coast and across the middle, north of Edinburgh. Caithness is more rolling fields. I loved the people, who are cheerful, very open and warm. There's just not a lot going on up there! My friend Graham's vision is a "Snape of the North" or similar arts organisation to that established by Benjamin Britten and his partner, Peter Pears in Aldeburgh, in East Sussex (fishing villages). There is a huge abandoned building near the Thurso beach that's perfect for a large performing arts building, and a large abandoned former mill (with beautiful mill pond) on the property of his friend, that Graham sees as a painter's studio complex. Funds for both (to renovate the buildings) have to be raised, as well as the awareness of people in the area, but I see it happening. I left Caithness with real longing, to be able to do something there. The sky is wide open. The wind never stops blowing and in the winter, often at gale force. Jobs are scarce and shockingly low-paid, even for Scotland, which is lower paid than England. Tourism is the main revenue, and in the winter, must drop off a lot, although the Gulf Stream's presence mitigates the cold (snow is rare).

I've enjoyed doing nothing special, too. For the first and likely only time in my life, I've cleared clutter and possessions with a vengeance, selling off all sorts of things. One realises that there just isn't time to do this in a normal week. I did it when preparing to leave San Francisco (in 1995), but that's a while ago. This time, I sold family silver that I'd never used, sold jewellery, books, clothes, and am still at it. My stuff has run my life for a long time, though I didn't see it. My entire wardrobe is now enclosed in a 64" wide cupboard (my female readers will see that this is a tiny space). I still have some things from my size 8 days, but remain optimistic about wearing these again. Everything is arranged by color, light to dark, which if you've never tried it, makes getting dressed a LOT easier. Yes, it sounds a bit compulsive, but try it: it changes one's life.

3. Loss: my darling cat, Alice, mother of Dorabella. In early July, Alice suddenly stopped eating (having never missed a meal before) and became very lethargic. The vet suggested a virus (huh?) and gave her a shot for that. No improvement. Then at my suggestion, worm medication. Still worse. I started feeding her tinned tuna, which she ate, but still no improvement. She was emaciated, and I realised (from a web site on feline kidney failure) that her symptoms matched up, but that it was too late to save her. I had a different vet release her last Wednesday, which was one of the worst things I've ever had to do, but at least she's not suffering. Her daughter, Dorabella, is still confused, although knew that Alice was very sick.

3.1 Weight Watchers works. I'm slowly, very slowly, shedding the pounds, with no real effort. I should move more, but it's still happening. The points system is easy to follow, and one can have anything, as long as its points fit into the day's allotment.

3.2 Finishing my mother's estate. The last papers are filed and distributions made. On the 10th September, she will have been gone a year. It's been a very long year and a tough one, in all ways (personal and professionally).

4. Gains. Peace of mind (whatever happens, I'm determined it will be nice). If I can't get a job here (deadline is the end of September), I will return to the U.S., likely to Madison, Wisconsin, where an old friend has offered to put me up until I get a place and a job. I can hear the cries: not Washington? Not Boston? Not Maine? I really need a total change of life if I'm in the U.S. I spent most of my life in Washington, as well has having grown up there. It became very expensive, very crowded, very racially divided and in general, very stressful, although with superb art, music and theatre. Having lived for just over three years in beautiful little Leiden (population about 120,000), I've delighted in its lovely location, exquisite 17th century (and earlier) canals and buildings, its quiet pace and proximity to anything else I need. 5-10 minutes on one's bike brings one to any shop, the station or home. I've enjoyed being a member of a small book club (5 Dutch ladies and I), reading some new English-language authors, being a lot more physically active, living by the season (summer fruit in summer) and just having a calmer life (other than work, of course). Living here has been blissful. Working here has been the most stressful and frustrating experience imaginable, and for no good reason (that's the most frustrating part).

So, off to send in more C.V.s, and to clear more *stuff*. Tonight is dinner with my former landlord (former Dutch ambassador to Sarajevo, so should be a fascinating evening; his wife is Iranian). The week will also include a trip to Amsterdam's newest museum, the Hermitage on the Amstel (river). My only real fear about returning to Madison is that it will be "white bread", but it's a student city and the state capital, and very liberal, so there should be lots of interesting bread and people. If anyone wants my C.V., just e-mail me and it will follow. Thank you!

Pamela