Sunday afternoon

Dear all of you out there!

I had a much-needed 12-hour sleep (I won't reveal when I woke up) and am enjoying feeling whole again, for lack of a better way to put it. Sleep puts me back together again. I'm remembering why I started this blog, just over two years ago, which was mostly for myself, so that I wouldn't forget my first impressions. I now realize how ordinary it is to go up to Amsterdam for a haircut (yesterday), or think of going to Belgium for the weekend (plan to do this in November, after receiving my year's transportation pass, courtesy of my new employer, ING Bank), or the fact that it rains every day, in some amount. The BBC World Service is on the radio, talking about the closing of the Olympics and that it will be in London in 2012 (where, I can't imagine!).

My new residence card came through recently, and is valid for a whole year, until the end of June 2009. This makes me feel so much more secure, plus knowing that ING will doubtless give me an unlimited (I'm on a limited permit now) permit next July. With an unlimited permit, I can get a mortgage and buy a home. Sensibly, the mortgage providers don't issue mortgages to anyone not having the legal right to stay indefinitely. Somewhat in that same list, my driver's permit from Maryland expires in October. I briefly thought of flying back for a weekend to renew it, to save hassle here, but I have no way to prove Maryland residency, and fares are very high at the moment. I then investigated licenses here, and they don't accept American licenses for transfer to Dutch ones, as they do the EU residents. And despite having been licensed since age 16, the Dutch will require me to take driving LESSONS and then a practical as well as written exam, in order to get a license. While the thought of having no driving license makes me nervous, I don't plan to buy a car here, so may let it lapse for a while. Dutch driving rules are more conservative than American ones (people here really do NOT tailgate on highways, for example) and I don't know the international symbols. I guess that I have no choice, but it's an odd feeling. I certainly don't need a car here.

While I've given up on men in Scotland for the moment (too much effort for unsatisfying results), I just signed up to learn Scottish dancing, via the St. Andrews Society very near Leiden. They meet once a month to dance and have fun, which is just what I want: fun. The whole match.com thing has been so frustrating. Yes, I've met several nice men, all from the UK. One has remained a friend, and we Skype every month or so. But the thing they all seem to have in common, despite being on match.com, is being commitment-phobic. Yes, "chemistry" may or may not be present, but having met six or so in the last year or so, I don't think they're seriously considering taking a partner for the long-term. One was comically unsuitable and had delusions of grandeur (planned to make a film/documentary about the "Black" area [the mining region] of the Midlands in England). One clearly wasn't over his divorce (six years ago, but couldn't stop talking about his ex). And one, despite coming to visit regularly for 10 months, never had the slightest intention of remarrying! After the last one (who actually wanted someone who dressed like a teenaged diner waitress (as tarty as possible), but who could discuss German lieder and literary genres with him), I knew it was time for a big break. Not to beat a dead horse, but the men I got to know are educated, solvent, home-owning, intelligent, non-criminal, reasonably attractive and rather the cream of the match.com crop! This is what was so dismaying. This, I thought, was IT???? Granted, that match.com is only a subset of the available population, but still. I felt a bit like Carrie on "Sex in the City". The only sane response to the whole problem, I think, is to go one's way and have the best time possible. I'll keep looking (since I'm paid up for a few months yet), but am rather burned out at present.

The JOB. I now (since 1 July) work within HR in one large section of ING Bank (Wholesale Banking ("WB"), globally). The bank has offices in most of the world, but not much in the U.S. and is absent entirely in some areas. A big thrust of new business is in what's called Central and Eastern Europe (Poland, Romania, Hungary, Czech Republic, among others). My tiny group (4.5 of us) is focused on the "talent" (future top management) of the WB group, globally. We provide career coaching, (self)-assessment, training, a mentoring program and some other things. HR is entirely new to me and is far from what it used to be (basically, getting people in to interview for jobs and handling employee paperwork and benefits). I'm the point person for the group, keeping tabs on what's happening when and also writing the text for the group's soon-to-be-launched web site, within the bank's intranet. For those of you who know me well, writing anything is a great pleasure, and I'm enjoying this aspect of the job a lot. Being able to write and in native-ability English is important, since even though most Dutch speak very good Engish, their written English is often sub-par. One different aspect of working in general is to have one's boss be considerably younger than one is (and female). My immediate boss is about 33. She's very energetic, status-conscious (carries Prada bags, wears expensive clothes) and brimming over with American-written books on management efficiency, organizational behavior, HR and business success, in general. I find myself gently suggesting alternative means of getting to our ends. While our environment in general is completely different from the very bottom-line corporate legal environment I've worked in since 1992, I still find the regular meetings and exchange of views generally an utter waste of time.

And in Holland, one's ability to "get along" in general is far more important than in the U.S. Here, concensus is all, based on the government model, of 20 (it used to be 23) political parties, so forced to form a coalition government. One grows up in this here, obviously, but for one coming from outside, it's still a challenge to accept this environment. I'm still (and likely always will be) a fiercely individually oriented person (and I think that this is good). There are accepted ways of doing things here, and going against the grain (which I try not to do) often produces raised eyebrows. Oh, well.

But back to the bank, it's deeply comforting that ING's financial position is possibly the best of any bank, globally (in proportion, anyway). It has very ambitious goals and shows signs of meeting them. Granted that the takeover of ABN Amro (by the Royal Bank of Scotland) didn't hurt ING's goals, but its goal is to be #1 in Holland and very high otherwise in Europe. While so many companies are laying off people, ING is aggressively hiring. Enough said.

While I've eschewed Scottish men for the time-being, I'm reading up on Scottish history, and particularly, of the Highlands, which to me, is the most interesting part of the country (all those fierce clans). And it's SO beautiful. Given all that the UK includes (part of Ireland, Wales, Scotland and England), I know so little of its land and history, so am trying to make amends. Even with the weather (near-constant rain, even in summer), I would love to spend some time living there and travelling around. I'm envious of my dear friends, Graham and Mauro, who are now based in Thurso, right at the TOP of Scotland. They're starting (have just launched it) a national Scottish performing arts initiative, with royal patronage.

Films. The advent of such cheap DVDs and being able to view them on my laptop has been wonderful. I've rented (and bought several series, my favorite being "Inspector Morse") more films in the last two years than ever before. I'm comparing Geraldine McEwan's "Miss Marple" series with that of Joan Hickson, for example. Having ALL of the Inspector Morse series is a great comfort. I love John Thaw's nuanced, understated and cultured performances, as well as the occasional cameos of the UK's best actors (Gielgud, for one!). I may break down this year and get a television, though. I'd like to have access to the BBC and a few Dutch things. If you can imagine, though, finding the *space* for a t.v. in this tiny house, is part of why I've not got one before.

Right: by now, you're putting this on 'pause' and getting snacks, so I'll stop and get back to Inspector Morse. It's clouding up here, anyway.

Until soon,
Pamela